My button’s bigger than your one.
You’d better let me play, or else I’ll go,
And take my toys with me.
I’ve got more friends than you have.
That picture’s fake, you’ve Photoshopped in
An extra friend or three.
Vlad’s my pal and he’ll get you.
He’s got your name, and he’ll beat you up,
At the end of school tonight.
That fat, specky boy’s gonna get it,
He won’t have a clue what hit him
When we get into a fight.
See that girl in the playground?
I’ve done it with her! Oh yes, I did!
Of course, she wanted me to.
I’ll tell you how it’s done, you grab them!
Show them who’s boss, they love it,
Yeah, that’s what you do.
Don’t believe all the stories those boys tell.
They’re all liars and cheats and I’m not listening.
La la la I can’t hear you!
White is black, black is white, do you hear me?
All the adults are wrong,
Just believe what I tell you to.
I’m the head boy of the school, because
I won the popular vote, the biggest number of votes,
Despite my opponents cheating.
I’m also the head school bully,
And if you’re gay or disabled, Moslem or black,
I’ll give you a jolly good beating.
Because my button’s bigger than your one!
It is, too!
Stupid face!
You’re stupid!
Poo head!
My friends’ll beat you up, fatty, if you don’t watch out…
Nyagh! Nyagh! Nyagh!
Oh.
Nobody likes me!
It’s not fair!
Mick Canning 
This is brilliant and beautifully well-timed. Surely it’s time someone put that naughty little boy in detention…
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Personally, I think he should be expelled. He does nothing for the reputation of the school.
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So close to the truth Mick, a little scary actually isn’t it?
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Did you ever see the ‘Ripping Yarns’ episode ‘School bully?’ I keep thinking of that. (Yes, another Monty Python type comment!)
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Ha yeah I remember that one, classic underrated series. He really is a deranged bully.
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It’s high time the teaching staff sorted him out.
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This is very clever, Mick. Well done.
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Thanks, Robbie. Hoping to write the follow up soon after he’s expelled.
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This is brilliant, and worryingly sadly accurate!
can’t the rest of the world get together and make him irrelevant?
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I wish, I wish!
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there must be a way, it would just take a lot of cooperation…
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It would be a very good incentive for that cooperation to take place.
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It really would, and extremely ironic if wold cooperation could be brought about be such a man even accidentally!
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Irony taken up to the next level!
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It could be put in a textbook as an example of irony to help Americans understand what it is…
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There’ll have to be some sort of warning attached to it then, similar to the warnings of flash photography on news reports; ‘Warning, this might change your entire view of the world’, or somesuch.
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That’s fine, I can do that 🙂
I write manuals for a living, warnings I can do 🙂
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Splendid. I was forgetting that. Over to you!
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We have to get the world in on this plan…but I’ll write it down 😊
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Well it is sad; he’s the only one of his kind so bashing on him is minority abuse in a way…..though I must say that larger or smaller, it is still button-esque…
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Yes, one of a kind. Thankful for small mercies, I suppose.
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I hope he doesn’t hear you calling him a small mercy.
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I’ll check the tweets…
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I’ll go check the skies; I had a dream the other day of an ICBM falling on me in slow motion…
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Yeah, that’ll be the school bully, all right. He’s probably after your dinner money.
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You hit the mark with this one! So completely accurate, Mick.
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Thanks, Meg.
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well rhymed. I remember when I was young I used to read limericks. I believe they are of British origin and must have been popular in old days. Is it popular even now?
BTW, the whole scenario seems to be unstable. You never know what will happen the very next minute!
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I think everyone one is most worried that it’s the School Bully who seems to be unstable. Heaven knows what he’ll be up to next!
And yes, limericks are still very popular. I’ve even been known to write the odd one myself. Thanks, Arv.
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Then I am sure I’ll like it.
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Oh, Mick, funny and clever, but horrible because it’s so true. For most Americans, Trump is utterly horrifying. The US government is totally broken.
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I agree about it being horrible, Diana. It seems like almost everyday I’m shaking my head over something new.
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What’s even worse is that no one with the political power to stop him is making a peep. The next election can’t come quick enough.
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Indeed. I suppose it’s possible something might happen to him before then, of course.
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Sadly hilarious…
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Thank you. And thank you for visiting and commenting.
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Not just a nicely written blog post, but an excellent letter to the Editor.
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Thanks, Dave. I think the editor is still reeling from the playground insults.
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Good theme for satire with two school boys trying to show off and fighting over whose button is bigger. Both should be expelled.
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My solution too, Somali. Who’s going to do it?
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Good question!
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If I didn’t know better I’d think this was a work of fiction. Well done! Happy New Year!!
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Thanks, Steph. Yes, obviously fiction…um…erm…Happy New Year to you, too.
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Hahaha 😉
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I know little about american politics(or of any contry other than India, for that matter) but this was amazingly written. Hilarious as well as serious.
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Thank you. Unfortunately we’re all learning far too much about the big baby in the White House.
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I thought he was shifting to trump tower? Or maybe I misread the news.
Either way, I feel that the POTUS cannot be treated just as the POTUS. His actions have far reaching consequences. He must be a responsible person. Like I said, I know little about American politics, but there must certainly be something wrong, considering that everyone seems to be against him.
Yet for some reason I hear that most american love him? Is that true?
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America is split between those who adore him and those who absolutely hate him. There is almost no one in between.
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I wonder what is going on politically in the UK? I have been hearing a lot about UK politics lately.
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Brexit was the big issue, but now it’s all about the Covid-19 virus, much like the rest of the world.
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I hear some people hate boris johnson?
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Yup. He’s not popular at all with lots of people.
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If I may ask, what do you think of him? Is it the first time conservatives won since churchill? Or is that a rumour I heard.
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No, that’s a rumour. The conservatives have been in power for the majority of the time since then.
Personally, I do not like him at all.
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I just found out Theresa May was a conservative. My worlds seems upside down. I sure need to read more.
Most Indians were extremely happy labours lost. Infact I hear that the association of Indians in UK called for people to not vote for labour. Labour’s stand on India was unacceptable to most. But I don’t see how it matters to India who is sitting as the PM in UK.
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