Advice to New Bloggers (from Bob)

On By Mick CanningIn blogging, Bob, humour, posts, satire, writing

Bob has decided to go into journalism. Did I have any hints, he asked me? How should he go about it? In the end, I suggested he write a guest post for me.

‘What on?’ he asked.

Oh, I don’t know, I replied, possibly a little too casually. How about blogging?

‘Okay,’ he said. ‘I’ll do that.’

Over to you, Bob:

‘Right, so…why do we follow blogs? Obviously, it is so we can read the pearls of wisdom they scatter before us mere mortals. And if every post is a literary delight, then how much better would it be if we could get twice as many? Or three times? Or more? Everyone wants to read 20 new posts a day from their favourite blogger, all the more so if they receive email notifications of each one, as they get the added frisson of a ‘ping’ every few minutes as another notification arrives; an anticipation of the huge pleasure they will get when they read the new post!

‘Black print on a white background is so yesterday! Experiment with colours – green on blue, perhaps, or if you must use black, try it against a dark grey background. This ensures the reader gives your post the attention it deserves, rather than perhaps just scanning it quickly and moving on to something else.

‘But don’t stop there! Times New Roman and all that ilk are boring, boring, boring! Fonts such as Blackadder or Edwardian Script make it so much more fun! Again, your reader must work hard to prove how much they adore your posts if they are going to get to the point of posting any sort of relevant reply.

‘Size is everything. there is nothing better than a 4,000 word post to read because, let’s face it, your readers have nothing better to do with their time than read your post. After all, it’s probably the highlight of their day, so why skimp on their reading pleasure? Especially so if you have employed fonts and background colours similar to those mentioned above!

‘Is that okay, Mick?’

‘It’s a bit short, Bob. I thought you were in favour of long posts?’

‘Um…I ran out of stuff.’

Thanks, Bob. I’ll let you know.

45 thoughts on “Advice to New Bloggers (from Bob)”

    1. I think so too, Arv. Those are all things that I find annoying, although I know not everyone will agree with me! Incidentally, did you spot that the couple of black and white pictures I put up on my Facebook page recently were of Jaipur? (Not very obvious, I agree!)

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      1. Mick, its completely perfect for the bloggers to post long ones. There are all kinds of readers. Given very little time that I have and the number of blogs to read its tough!

        Sorry Mick I am traveling and might have missed few posts. Will check and let you know. Thanks for bringing this to my notice. You’re a great pal. 😊

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          1. Sure I did Mick. On the downside, I haven’t been able to catch up with the blogging world. But I guess that’s good too! I did catch up with some bloggers. It’s nice to meet your blogging friends… face to face! what do you think?

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  7. I think a lot of bloggers have been following Bob’s advice! And some take it a step further: they make sure their sites are almost impossible to navigate and include fifty photos with each post. Usually of the author, doing a yoga pose.

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  8. I wonder what Bob will come up for the next 19 posts for the day? Or maybe just one more post, with a list of 19 things you could have never possibly have known already and needed to know immediately…

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    1. He’ll have to keep that to himself, Dave, or find another blog to guest post on. Although if he does anything else of interest, I’ll be sure to let you know. I suspect he’ll be back soon one way or the other.

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  10. I think Bob just identified the new secret ingredient to successful blogging. Now I just have to decide if pink BlackAdder font over blue background would distract too much from the random series of GIF’s that adds that special something to every 5000 word post 😉

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          1. hehehe I would never question the obviously indisputable authority of a veteran like Bob. however… I don’t know if I’m quite ready to make to take the plunge into the big leagues with these fancy new tricks of the trade quite yet 🙂

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