Where’s Bob?

On By Mick CanningIn Bob, humour, mobiles, phones

I did say I would go and see what Bob has been up to, didn’t I? I haven’t forgotten, but I’m afraid I have to tell you the news isn’t good. I tried to phone him but got no answer, which is unusual as he is one of those people who has to answer their mobile when it rings no matter what else he might be doing. In fact, I don’t think I could begin to tell you the number of times he has told me off for not answering my phone when he calls me.

‘I tried calling you this morning!’ he would say, huffily, when he got hold on me later that day.

‘I know. I was too busy to take the call.’

”You know? you know? Why couldn’t you take it?’

‘Well, if you want to know, I was twenty foot up the top of a rickety ladder balanced precariously on a loose boulder and hanging on with one hand trying to return a baby golden eagle to the nest it had fallen out of, while both the parents were clawing at my face with their talons and shrieking furiously, under the impression I was trying to harm their chick.’

‘Pretty poor excuse if you ask me,’ he’d sniff. ‘So why didn’t you call me back afterwards?’

‘I wasn’t allowed to in the operating theatre.’

‘And you call yourself a friend?’

Anyway, I couldn’t get him. the phone rang and rang and Bob didn’t answer.

So I phoned Gina, his wife.

It turns out he is in hospital, but fortunately nothing to do with the Corona Virus. It seems he was out for his permitted walk and was taking a short cut through a field. Unfortunately, he only noticed there was a bull in the field when it began chasing him. Wisely, he legged it pretty quickly. And he had almost reached the fence and safety when he heard a text arrive on his phone, and naturally stopped there and then to read it.

047

It could happen to anyone.

52 thoughts on “Where’s Bob?”

  2. One should always check their texts immediately, because one never knows, it could be the one in a thousand legitimate credit card offers.

    Think of the points!!!

    BTW, my neighbor up the road has a small herd of the fellows pictured above. One day, he was out walking one. Why he does that I don’t know, but another question came to mind.

    “Why does your bull have a tennis ball stuck on one of his horns?”

    “Oh, you mean the one closest to me.”

    “Yeah.”

    “It is for when he shakes his head.”

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

    1. I think I might feel safer with something a little larger than a tennis ball…

      To be fair to Bob, he might have thought along those same lines. I should probably give him the benefit of the doubt.

      Unfortunately, I know Bob.

      Liked by 2 people

      Reply

  6. The sight of that beast reminded me of something I read about Hardrian’s Wall. The wall was not that high, about 16 to 20 feet and manned by small garrisons every mile and a larger force at five mile intervals (if I am not mistaken).

    So while it was impressive, it really was not that impressive to an opposing army who could swarm it, or raiders who could scale it in the night.

    The purpose for the wall, or so the author said, was not to keep people out, but livestock in. Back in those days, raiding as a big deal and while breaking into England was not hard, getting livestock back across the wall was all but impossible.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. That seems very likely. It has long been pointed out that the garrisons would probably have been insufficient to oppose even a relatively small but determined force.

      And raiding was certainly a big thing then, and was happening continuously across the border region right up until a couple of hundred years ago.

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      Reply
          1. Ishaan Sharma

            But it is much more dangerous to climb on an unbalanced stair, trying to return an eaglet to unwilling parents.
            Have you ever really done that?

            Liked by 1 person

            Reply
                  1. Ishaan Sharma

                    I have difficulty understanding english humour.
                    I will just assume this was all a very funny joke.
                    Or maybe I will assume your house is located on the top of a hill, which would be a way cooler thing to believe

                    Liked by 1 person

                    Reply

                    1. It was intended as a highly exaggerated reason for not answering the phone, and to illustrate that Bob wasn’t interested in the reason, anyway.

                      Generally, I’d say your understanding of English humour is excellent, from what I’ve seen.

                      Liked by 1 person

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