After The Event

Yeah, the book’s out. I’ve gone through the motions, but at the moment I feel I don’t really care what happens to the thing. I feel flat. Is this normal? I can’t remember if I’ve felt this way after publishing previous books. Perhaps it’s because it took so long this time around. I love the process of writing but the marketing sucks. I hate the feeling I’m pressurising people into buying something. Partly, I think, it’s a typically English sort of thing – I feel really embarrassed about self-promotion, about blowing my own trumpet. It’s ‘not what we do’.

Except, of course, we do. That’s just a caricature, really, although inevitably some of us do fit into that description. Some of this feeling I think is wanting to get on with a new project. A need to move on and explore something different. I’ve lived with the damned thing for so long, thought about it, talked about it, agonised over it, I just want to get stuck into something different! With no distractions.

Don’t get me wrong; I’m proud of the book. I’m pleased with how it turned out. The characters, the story arc…but I do hate the promotion. I suppose it’s a particularly personal thing; I was asked if I would do a book launch, to which I replied no, I wouldn’t. I don’t like reading in public, I wouldn’t really want to do a question and answer interview. That’s the introvert in me. But if a few people get to read it, and if they get something from it, then I guess I’ll be pleased. I know that doesn’t seem like much of a return for ten years’ work, but there you go.

But I find I’m writing notes frantically, and I’ve begun a small project, a poem, or perhaps short poem cycle, that I’ve had in mind for a while. And the notes will either end up as ‘zine articles, or even another novel.

Maybe both. Who can say?

33 thoughts on “After The Event

  1. I feel just like you, and I’m not English, but Greek! The problem is that even if you’re trad published, as my first book was, you’re still expected to do the lion’s share of the promotion. Unless you’re Steven King or somebody. With the first book a lot of family and friends got excited and bought it and wrote reviews—a couple actually loved it and can’t wait for the next one, but I’m not asking the others again…

    Liked by 4 people

    1. And I had the same experience with the first book – a lot of interest and blog interviews. I guess I have a different blog audience after ten years, but I do find it strange that a lot of family and friends don’t show any interest, or even curiosity.

      Liked by 2 people

  2. Michael Graeme's avatar Michael Graeme

    I’d say this sounds pretty normal. You’ve lived with this project for 10 years. I feel the same with my books, and they generally take no more than a year or 18 months. You hit publish and then… well…

    It’s good to reflect though. You’re probably not the same person you were 10 years ago, and that in part will be a result of what you’ve written. Then, yes, it’s not long before all those other creative projects that were waiting patiently in the wings begin to bubble up from the unconscious and wanting their expression.

    And I feel the same about self promotion. I even hate writing the blurbs for my give-aways. Never had the experience of a publisher pushing me to do book signings, but I’d probably be self conscious and tongue tied – takes a certain kind of person to make a success of that and enjoy it. Certainly more outgoing than me.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Yes to all of those, Michael. I’m not the same, but there’s a certain interconnection in that as I’ve changed then also the book changed in part with me. Although after two scrapped drafts I went back largely to the story arc I’d originally imagined, that had also grown and changed in the interim.

      And I’ve been to various book promotions, largely by author friends of mine, and I’ve admired their confidence in engaging with the audience and reading out their work, even if perhaps they didn’t feel entirely confident inside. I’ve only given a reading once before, and found it far more daunting than the days when I worked with Prince’s Trust groups (and others) and had to take control of groups of reluctant teenagers!

      Liked by 3 people

  3. I’ve never written a book and don’t intend to, but even with my blog entries, especially the longer ones that stretch out over two or three posts, my practice/mantra is “Write, and move on.” I always start a new project almost immediately, to get the juices flowing again. Finished projects of any sort always leave a void, so filling it up is a first order of business, even if the ‘filling’ is temporary and not meant to be a magnus opum.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Yes, get stuck in. I agree. I need to have something going on, not just note-taking. I’ve always got projects bubbling under, but once a major one has finished I can haul one or two of them up and give them more attention.

      Liked by 3 people

  4. Flat is normal. In my line of work I used to give presentations to all kinds of people, clients, government, research society. Some presentations involved 10 people, some 3-400. Some meant weeks of work.
    Now, when the presentation was over, (and generally went well9, I always felt… a tad “flat”. I called it the post presentation depression as in “post partum”.
    So flat is normal.
    You’ll be fine…

    Liked by 3 people

  5. Like all the above, Mick, I suffer the same sort of issues as you in regard to marketing. I’ve worked as a tutor, given talks as part of my employment to large, sometimes hostile groups, sat on stage at conventions and talked with other authors, answered questions from the floor, but I still loath the whole idea of ‘writing as a business’, which is essentially what marketing means.
    And, yes, I always want to start a new book, story, as soon as I’ve got the last one published.

    Just keep doing what you do, and enjoy it!

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Congratulations, Mick! But it would have been nice to get a link to the book, or even just the title! For heavens sake man, some of us are memory challenged. :p

    That said, I completely agree re the marketing, and it’s not just a Brit thing. It was something I grew up with here in Australia too. People who boasted about their achievements were…-rolls eyes-…you know, full of hot air and bull dust. Ahem.

    Glad you’re already into something new. My Muse has recently returned from a year[s] long sabbatical so I’m starting to get creative again too. It’s a nice feeling. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  7. A fair few years ago we went to see Fay Weldon talk at Bournemouth Library, she was promoting her book. She is one of my favourite writers, I had read her books, at least one of them serialised on TV and popular viewing…and yet she still had to go around promoting a new book! I knew then my books were never going to make it to the general public!

    Liked by 2 people

  8. I hear you, Mick. I so hate the promotion, too. And I hate asking people to review. In fact, I’ve stopped completely. It’s not an ego thing. It’s just that you want your writing to be genuinely appreciated. I don’t want to be forced into reading someone’s book in exchange for a review. It doesn’t feel right. I dislike the Q & A session, interviews too but that’s part of being a writer. You have to do it all now. Like you, I just want to move on to the next project. But even successful authors do launches, interviews and book readings. That’s just how it is. And when a book has taken so much of your time and energy, it’s important you help it fly, right?

    Liked by 2 people

    1. You’re right, Smitha, but I just loathe them. I’m quite an introvert and book readings are the stuff of nightmares to me! So too, an interview in front of an audience. I just accept I will only sell a few copies of anything I publish, and probably end up giving away more copies than I sell.

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Hi Mick, I lose interest in my books soon after they are published and it’s hard for me to keep marketing momentum going too. My upbringing is also English. In fact, it was pretty Victorian. I’ll get to your book soon and publish a review. Reviews help.

    Liked by 2 people

  10. Hi there Mick. Congratulations on finishing the book, this is a wonderful accomplishment. I can’t really relate to the feelings that go with something like that, after so many years of input, but the way you describe it does make a lot of sense. Hopefully, after a nice bit of fresh air and new projects, you will revisit it and feel all the pride you deserve to feel 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a comment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.